A lot of times we look into the world and we see people doing things at such high levels. They are starting crazy successful businesses, doing AMAZING in their creative careers, having IMMENSE success with their fitness goals, or totally excelling in an area of life that we ourselves want to excel in.
But when we look at ourselves we think “wow, I haven’t even started yet,” or “how could my business be that successful?” or ” I’m already twice the age that I think I should be for that” or whatever the limiting thought may be.
When we have these limiting thoughts we begin to take steps backwards, in the other direction of our dreams. It’s in these times that we start to lose focus, we give 100% to our plan B, or we take on a string of other random jobs and tasks that keep our mind off of the true desire we have burning in our heart. The next thing we know, we look around and see that years have passed with no progress toward our goal and this just reinforces the “fact” that “It just isn’t meant for me”.
“YEAH, BUT THAT’S NOT ME”…IS NOT A FACT…IT’S A SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY
The more you tell yourself that this goal that YOU want, isn’t for you; that it’s only meant for those special “others” out there, the more this is going to be TRUE.
Well it’s going to be YOUR truth anyway, because what you say is extremely powerful and embeds itself into your personal belief system. And your personal belief system dictates all of your actions; everything you do.
Want proof? I have a very strong personal belief that I cannot fly unassisted. Therefore I ALWAYS make a concerted effort not to walk off of cliffs. I’m sure we probably have this in common.
Every time I’m on a roof or the edge of a canyon I take a few steps back because I believe that, if I go over the edge, I will fall and severely injure myself if not die.
See how powerful that is?? EVERY TIME I have the opportunity to try and fly unassisted. I shy away from it. EVERY TIME.
So with that in mind, what other, more subtle personal beliefs do you have that make you shy away from opportunities and courses of action that might propel you to your goals if you were to just get rid of the “yeah, but that’s not me” mind-set , become RESOLVED to going for it, and see how it plays out.
And there’s nothing wrong with just seeing how something is going to play out, but you can’t half-ass it. You have to go all in and then and only then can you predict a trajectory.
Seeing how it’s going to play out doesn’t mean writing a book and submitting it to one publisher and then quitting after the first rejection letter, it means continuing the act until you are sure no one on the planet is going to publish it…Then and only then do you…self-publish lol. You STILL don’t just throw in the towel, you ADJUST your path and expectations but you still FOLLOW that dream. It’s Mandatory!
Sorry, I think i’m getting off track here but as I was saying…
The problem a lot of us have is with comparison, and setting goals that don’t allow any room for another measure of success.
Keeping with the writing example. You may say ” I want to write a novel that sells 1 million copies”.” But as you realize how difficult the publishing industry is to navigate, and you see others who write about different topics, who don’t look like you or have your background, reach crazy levels of success, you begin to get discouraged. And on top of that you see selling 200 copies of your novel not as a stepping stone to greater achievement or as a learning experience, but as complete failure.
In turn you reduce your efforts, you stop writing, and then you are right. It IS FAILURE.
All this is to say that this world is full of opportunities and unpredictability. And I totally understand feeling like what you want to achieve just may not be for you.
When you come from an environment where there aren’t many, if any, real-world examples of people rising above their circumstances and achieving a similar goal as you, it’s hard to see the “realism” in doing it yourself.
When you look at an industry and see 90% of the people in it don’t look like you or share your roots it can be discouraging.
When you look at your bank account and see that you don’t have the extra income for huge investments into your goals or continuing education or whatever, it’s tough.
But there is a path. Part of the adventure in life is resolving yourself to figuring out just how to find…or carve..that path. And I believe that even if you don’t quite get to the destination, the journey itself is a worthwhile cause.
So. YES YOU. YES YOU can reach the pinnacle of success that you desire but it first takes getting on the path to even have the possibility of getting there. Assessing your belief systems.
The first steps are always the most awkward and unstable but they are the most significant.
Get rid of your “yeah, but that’s not me” mentality and start figuring out just how it WILL be.
I’m not naive (well not totally), and you shouldn’t be either. Sometimes there are limitations to achieving a particular, specific goal. If you are 4 feet 4 inches tall, with a 6 inch vertical leap chances are you will not become an NBA MVP. But you can reach the pinnacle of what your physical limitations allow in basketball and make a mark on the sport in your own right.Look inside of yourself for creativity on a different approach. i.e. becoming the most knowledgeable basketball commentator, or a giant in your self-created sport of mini-basketball. lol OK maybe i’m reaching. But maybe not. Look at YouTube and how people have taken their passions, but a spin on them, and had immense success at living a different side of their passions. The world is changing, and ours is a world of limitless possibility.
Thank you so much for reading. Great things are on the horizon for you. YES YOU!
Until next blog
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Also published on Medium.