Blog on inner-dialogue

4 ways to shut the F#@% up!

Sometimes you talk too much! In your head that is. Sometimes your inner-dialogue can be  limiting, self -deprecating, and even defeating. If that voice in your head has ever told you
” you’re not ready” “it’s too big for you” “it’s too scary” “you’ll never finish” etc. I want to give you some tips for shutting the fear up (what did you think the title said??) and stepping into a greater you.


 

1.Recount Your Successes

Think about the last time you succeeded doing something you thought would be scary, disastrous, or out of your element. How did you handle it? Chances are, if you’re reading this, the outcome wasn’t your death. I’ll bet you took care of business. Even if it was awkward or not 100% the best thing that’s ever occurred. You handled it, and are likely stronger, more experienced, and better for it. Don’t talk yourself out of going for what you desire because you see the potential for failure. That’s an opportunity for growth. Whenever you hear ” I can’t” think of the last time you DID. Replace that  inner-dialogue with the positive takeaways from the last tough encounter and watch your confidence grow.

 

2. Ask YOURSELF: “What do I REALLY want?”

I’ve sure been guilty of this. Talking myself out of putting in the action to go for something that seemed difficult simply to stay inside my comfort zone. Many times the voice in your head will be feeding you all kinds of excuses as to why you shouldn’t go for an opportunity that deep-down you KNOW you should pursue. In such times ask yourself what is it that you really want? Do you want to be comfortable and safe despite your bigger dreams? or do you want to bear the potential temporary discomfort for something greater on the other side.

 

3. AFFIRMATIONS

This is the opposite of shutting up. But it will help you to replace negative counterproductive inner-dialogue with positive empowering words. Yes it seems a bit cheesy. But what you constantly think and say aloud is what you become. So why not deliberately shape that? Write out a few affirmations to say or read aloud everyday that have significance in your own life. Take a negative belief or thought..make it positive, and say it often. For example “I suck at public speaking” turns into “I am an awesome public speaker” and you say that to yourself in addition to learning techniques to overcome stage fright etc.

For instance one of mine reads: ” I am enough”.  It’s hard to entertain limiting, self-defeating thoughts about not being good enough, talented enough, strong enough, attractive enough, etc. when you are telling yourself everyday that you are committed to embracing that you are enough, as you are, for whatever your goals require. When you say them enough Affirmations become ingrained in your mind, and self-fulfilling prophecies. They will come to mind when your inner-voice says I can’t. You’ll hear that affirmation you constantly say about how you can, and you will, despite the fear.

Here is a good read: – tips on writing effective affirmations

 

4. Get an accountability partner

A good accountability partner is hard to come by but they have these characteristics:

  • They have empathy but don’t take your excuses at face value.
  • They truly understand your goals, what you are trying to achieve, and why
  • They are willing to have regular check-in conversations
  • They motivate but don’t belittle you

There are more qualities but these are the first that come to mind. An accountability partner is not your Mom or your dad (unless they are) and are not there to hold your hand or drag you to do what YOU want to do. They are simply there so you have someone to check in with who knows what you want to do, and will encourage you to stay on task. And when you whine they’ll tell you to STFU. For added motivation,  put some money on the line with your accountability partner. I.E. if I don’t lose 2 pounds, write 5 pages, etc. by next week I’ll give yo $50. That extra push of not wanting to come off of the cash will help shut up any counter voices as well.

There’s more to be said on the subject but here’s my 4 cents for now. Forgive me for the sensational title…I though it was witty.

Take care. And great things are on the horizon for you! Until next blog

-Ellis

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