You know what my problem is?…Ok, well, maybe just one of the myriad. Far too often, I feel like I need to have an Oscar to consider myself an actor. I feel as if I need to have my manuscript sanctioned by the world’s top critics to consider myself a writer. I have to know everyone will “feel me” to write lyrics and music. I’m a perfectionist, and though it does have it’s benefits: I pay attention to detail, I try to put out the highest quality product no matter what the project, It can be a prison.
Just like fear can oftentimes stop people in their tracks from taking that leap of faith to what will grant them success beyond imagination. Seeking approval, permission, or waiting for that “perfect moment” to free your ideas, creativity, your true self even, is just as dreadful. Maybe it’s even the same thing. Maybe perfectionism to the point of inaction is just extreme fear dressed up all neat and spotless.
I feel as if I deal with fear on a daily basis, especially in a line of work where you often have to “put yourself out there” for others to judge and reject you more than they accept you. But when it comes to being open with my own creative ideas I tend to freeze. You can never see an unfinished project…I would show you my script but I still have to tweak it…and tweak it…indefinitely.
That’s the reason why I blog so little. Eventually, I think, I’ll run out of good topics to write about and it’ll be reduced to my ramblings about things nobody wants to read….wait…isn’t that what this is anyway? lol.
All this is to say that I’m working on it. How many of you experience this sort of perfection-driven reluctance to shine? If so take my advice and just shine! So many people give their gifts to the world as a work-in-progress (to put it mildly) and reach great success. Unlock yourself and “Embrace the suck” as I once heard it put (to clarify that means be OK with sucking at something for a while…that’s how you get better…remember learning to walk??). After all, short of heaven, perfection is ultimately an unreachable ideal. I’m all for getting as close as possible though. I’m pretty sure I’m writing this for myself as much as anyone willing to read.
With this being said, today I launch my Facebook actor fan page. NBD right? I guess not, but there’s something about it that makes me feel pressured to put myself out there even when I want to shelter in place, behind my wall of mystery. Maybe that’s a good thing though.
Check it out here– https://www.facebook.com/TheEllisFowler and give it a like, along with this post please and thanks.
Thanks for reading and stay tuned. Great things are on the horizon…for both of us.